Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

By Mary Oliver – sits in the old soul perspective. She speaks of the human condition through nature.

Myers-Briggs MBTI and Soul Progression

Personality theory can be used to analyze spiritual development in ourselves and in others. Studying human behavior and motivations is never time wasted no matter what system or perspective you are looking at. Understanding all of the personality testing systems and applying the concepts to real life, is incredibly helpful for our own understanding of our spiritual path as well as for those around us.

I love the MBTI personally theory. I wont go into the description of what it is here because you can find thousands of web pages on it across the net. You can also take a few free Myers Briggs tests online. It’s helpful to know where you would be placed as a starting point.

Even though MBTI has an element of either-or in looking at personalities, in this we can still learn a lot if we don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. It is a system, so automatically it simplifies the human personality. But when one is wanting to learn more about themselves and others, this isn’t a bad thing if kept in perspective. The MBTI also disregards the concept of free will to a degree due to it’s simplicity, but more on that later. The Myers-Briggs system categorizes behaviors and ways of thinking. It gives us concepts and a vocabulary to allow us to communicate the why and how of life experiences such as, “I know what this guy is like. I’ve seen him millions of times before.” or “I don’t understand why this person is always late”. It can open our minds in the understanding of how other people view the world, what their motivations are and how they may behave in future situations. I’ve found it to be very accurate for predicting behavior even with just meeting an individual. It’s also been helpful in raising my understanding of how to interact with them in more positive and productive ways. Over the years my accuracy on being able to correctly guess someones type, either within our first meeting or those who I’ve known is around 90%. It’s not unusual that I can read what type someone is within the first two minutes of meeting them. But this depends on the type. Some types are easier to spot than others for me. I later have them take the online tests to validate my guesses when I get to know them better. For me, this makes MBTI a valid educational pursuit. It makes sense on some levels.

The argument against MBTI in psychology is that some people take this test and get a different personality result depending on the day or their state of mind, how honest they are in their answers or for other reasons unknown. This is why it’s not used in improving the knowledge of psychology students in universities. But this is also a sadly, a very back and white way of looking at a useful system. My guess is those who become psychologists later in life as opposed to those that go right into studying it in college after high school, would be more open to MBTI and other personality systems and ideologies. I’ve noticed, these psychologists are generally superior as they have had life experiences that lead them to want help people. Many psychology students seem to go into the field as young adults because they want to understand or fix themselves their lives and their own personality issues. Of course academia falls very short here. After graduation they are then let loose on society as experts with an authoritative title. The later in life psychologists or therapists, naturally have a more dynamic and holistic view of things, have experienced more life, fixed themselves or worked through problems before they practice the profession. They have matured and developed without an authority telling them how to think about human behavior, putting down some systems and uplifting others.

It’s crazy to me that because the test results aren’t always accurate, MBTI is not used in schools. Personality can’t be entirely measured by science and it’s bizarre that academia thinks this is the only appropriate way of looking at it. There’s a reason why there are so few rockstar psychologists. It requires a lot of intuition, emotional and interpersonal communication skills, life experience and resourcefulness. These qualities aren’t generally taught in college. But that’s of course one woman’s opinion, which by the way, is based on a lot of experience and thought. I can boast 11 years of college with professors of varying abilities in all of these areas.

There is a reason why MBTI is the most popular personality test in the world. Many people understand that it has a lot to offer and that it can be very accurate and helpful to them in their every day lives. I don’t work for Myers Briggs, and don’t aspire to. I am also not a trained psychologist or psychological therapist. I’ve also never bothered to be tested professionally because in my estimation it doesn’t matter what someone else thinks I am. I have been studying MBTI on and off for 30 years. So, I do have a few things to say about it with regards to spiritual development.

5 Steps for using MBTI to help you to develop your perspective and soul age.

  1. THE MOST SPIRITUALLY DEVELOPED INDIVIDUALS ARE EMOTIONALLY AND LOGICALLY BALANCED. They are emotionally in touch but at the same time use their common sense and their logic to navigate their way though life situations. The personality lessens as the soul develops. The MBTI descriptions do lean towards some types being more balanced than others. This makes sense as the combination of traits and behaviors are going to express differently. But no type is going to have the market on spiritual development as there are degrees of everything.
  2. FIGURE OUT WHAT TYPE YOU ARE. You can probably get there by just taking the online test. All of them. After you get your results read about the personality or personalities that coincide. Choose the one that resonates with you the most.
    Study this type deeply. Read everything you can about it. Buy any books that look interesting. Sign up for chat rooms. Watch YouTube videos. Hire a professional MBTI coach to test you. Studying and practice are roads to spiritual advancement. We have tools to improve ourselves in this life, our exquisite minds and emotional abilities and honing these gives us higher understanding. This can be a very enjoyable path if it resonates with you.
  3. APPLY WHAT YOU KNOW TO YOUR LIFE. Analyze your own actions and compare them to how other people behave in similar situations. Notice how they are different or similar to you and try to type them. Your skill in this area will improve with practice. Once you think you know what type they are have them take the tests if possible. You can progress spiritually only by watching your own actions and thoughts but it will accelerate your knowledge to also look at and analyze others.
    At this point you are probably pretty solid in who you think you are as far as Myers Briggs. Now, take it a step further. Look at every letter in your type and consider the opposite trait. Choose one trait that you want to add more of into your life. I would suggest starting with one of the more balanced areas where your score is closer to the opposite trait. Develop this opposite trait.
  4. AFTER THIS, CONTINUE WITH THE OTHER OPPOSITE TRAITS TO YOUR TYPE. This will take a lifetime. There are some MBTI gurus that go into the types very deeply and give advice on different things to work on for self development. I find http://www.personalityhacker.com is a pretty good site. They also have a test you can take which seems to be pretty accurate. But they don’t talk about trying to become more balanced. They focus more on trying to be healthier within your type rather than moving out of type, which is what I’m suggesting. They still keep you in the box. But they are definitely worth listening to, as are many other teachers out there.
  5.  IF YOU TAKE THE TEST AND YOUR PERSONALITY JUMPS ALL OVER THE PLACE, you could be mentally unstable, not honest with yourself on the test or you may be balancing on the edge of type or an aspect of type. The balancing is apparent as you will see your scores on each end. If you are balanced, I argue that you are more actualized and more advanced than the average person. The planet is currently full of ego dominant individuals. In being balanced, you have the ability to move from one side of the type to the other when you need it, when It’s appropriate for a particular situation. For example, You spend as much time alone processing and thinking as you do with others helping and engaging. Or you use your emotions to navigate your life in equal proportion to your logic and mental constructs. As a soul matures in perception, the personality is less apparent. Your personality isn’t strong, your interior is. You are more chameleon like, I don’t mean in a manipulative way, but in a way where you have the ability to adapt appropriately to every situation and conversation for the betterment of the individuals involved as well as the whole. In the old soul perspective, you don’t loose your individuality but your focus is not on yourself in the way that it is in younger perspectives. The advanced individual does not have to be special or different but because of the way the planet is at present, they are.

What is Soul Development?

The soul at its core, is whole already. There is nothing that needs to be “fixed”. But for those of us that see that we live in a universe oriented towards growth and expansion, then we also must believe that the soul is never done learning, becoming more heartful and more creative in it’s expression. We are never “finished”. The desire to be close to Source is what drives our human existence. It’s the fire within. We’ve chosen this human life and this Earthly learning from our spiritual selves for this reason.

When people say we must “heal” ourselves, this could be interpreted as meaning we must get our egos under control and live a heartful existence. This statement has nothing to do with the soul at it’s basic level, because here we are perfect, wise and whole. It is connected to the individual soul aspect in becoming more heartful and expansive within its unique self with the aid of intense Earthly experiences. But it is also part of a bigger picture because we are spiritual beings that benefit as a whole as each aspect of our soul progresses. The system on this planet is set up for this aspect of our soul that we insert into it, to experience how to be more heartful and expansive. As each aspect of ourselves improves, the whole improves. Our spiritual selves or souls are unlimited in aspects and are always choosing experiences in which to grow and develop further. The spiritual self is infinitely more varied than what we are in human form. This human life is just one aspect of our soul having an experience in a system. This Earth system in particular is set up for rapid growth. This growth state of our true being is gifted to us by the Universe or God as this is the nature of God. This desire to be like God and to grow in heartfulness gives us the drive to develop spiritually forever in infinite states and ways. Simultaneously we are developing all aspects of our true spiritual selves in different forms and aspects and learning in human form is just one of those.

It can also be argued that our creator, the energy force that has always existed and that which everything comes from (God), is also always creating and expressing itself through it’s own creations. Expansion is the direction that everyone and everything in the material world, other dimensions as well as the spiritual realm are continually moving. We are the same energy as God and we are each just aspects of this energy. We have been given our own consciousness as individual souls but also as a group of souls. This group soul consciousness includes all energy that exists. All is consciousness as all is God, or in other words, consciousness is God. We are conscious because we are God’s creation. God is always expanding and growing and through our consciousness, God/Energy/Universe/Source has new experiences that are unique to each consciousness that it creates. We are individuals in our experience, but we are also ultimately the creation of Source. We are innately part of Source and thus are always part of the heartful expansion of all that exists no matter how much ego energy we choose to exhibit in any particular aspect existence. Source gives us free will and the opportunity to experiment with different qualities of existence so that we can learn who we truly are at our soul’s core. Let’s call it “love” for semantics sake.

Looking at our individual lives as a beautiful works of art that only we can create with our unique selves, is a path to spiritual freedom at this Earthly level for the particular aspect of us that is here in human form. It is just a small part (aspect) of how we are learning at the soul level. In each manifested action here on the planet, we decide with free will, what and who we are and what our lives will express in every moment. If these actions are heartful, they are connected to positive expansion and creativity. If our actions are self-serving and filled with ego, they are contracting, not original and not inspired.

Generally, our soul aspects that we decide, with guidance from Source, would benefit from a human existence, want to stay in this aspect and live many lives until we have mastered the ego in human form, but not always. Because at our basic soul level and in all aspects, we want to be one or close to God. This is our natural state of being. We long to be more heartful, closer to God in all aspects of ourselves. We often come back to Earth with these chosen aspects of our souls, for this reason. We choose much of our life circumstances with the help of our guides and Source. We are never forced into any life that we do not want. Source does not punish us for lives lived with ego dominance. Source helps us into lives that will be desirable for growth from where we are at a skill level and we also have say in how that life will generally go. We aren’t thrown willy nilly into a life with no power over what happens to us. Although, depending on the level of ego energy in that aspect of ourselves, we may choose life circumstances, despite the guidance of Source, that aren’t in our best interest for heartful growth. It’s a decision making process with guidance and there is also free will. As this aspect of ourselves that is living human lives, becomes more skilled, the choices we make for a life and then within that life, are more appropriate for that soul’s aspects growth.

Lucky for us, we are always in a state of growth. This is how the universal system works, not just here on Earth but in all that is. We all eventually get to where we want to be and learn the lessons we need to learn. Source is love and is always there for us and guides us towards itself even in spite of our out of control ego energy. Our soul at its basic level also guides us through experiences that are growth producing. Because we are also love as we are created from love and our soul’s desire is to be near God as heartful spiritual beings, makes us skilled personal judges on a spiritual level. We understand the truth of who we are at our soul’s core or could be called our higher self and in this we do have our own compass to guide us through our souls expansion.

The beauty of this school of expansion we call Earth, is that we are able to move through this experience to attain our own souls goal at our own pace. Some individuals may want to learn more quickly and more deeply, where others may be fine with taking their time and learning on a more surface level. We all choose how we want to express ourselves and grow in this human state. Some of us like being human more than others and so may choose to live more lives purely because of this. They like it here. Some may feel more comfortable in other realms and their way of learning may be more in line with these places or states. The universal energy gives our souls infinite ways to learn on all dimensions.

So this being said, it’s not better to be an older soul on this planet. Nor is it worse to be a younger soul. We often but not always, choose the perspective that suits our abilities but we also choose perspectives that are based on our interests and end goals. For example, if you were to choose a life where you want to sit in the old soul perspective and learn these types of lessons, you are able to. Of course you will have had to spend lives learning the lessons up to this perspective. The older soul lessons can’t be understood if the younger lessons are not learned. A Phd student wouldn’t be able to pass their classes if their education ended at a third grade level. But we are all heading in that direction regardless. For some sitting in a young soul perspective for a bit longer than is needed to understand the lessons, may be connected to the desire to have a deeper understanding of that perspective, or even may be a choice made because an agreement was made with another to help them in their development this way. The possibilities are endless. For those souls that have spent many lives in an Earthly perspective, this may be because they want to learn deeply everything they can about the different perspectives out of the pure enjoyment of it. Maybe one of the goals for this aspect is to teach others who choose Earth and to know the subtitles would make them a better teacher. Others may spend very little time on Earth and learn the lessons well enough to move in a heartful direction to their next goal. Others may even choose one life here and decide to go elsewhere for school. This may not be due to being more advanced, but may be due to the fact that they enjoy other ways of expressing their soul aspects or maybe they just needed one life experience for their own purposes. As spiritual beings we don’t truly live in a back and white system. This would be limiting as it is not expansive, creative or a heartful way of looking at things.

The mere act of choosing a human existence on Earth is a step towards expansion in a more rapid manner. It is an intense school and can offer subtle learning in the distinction of ego vs heart for students. But, even if your soul chooses a different reality or dimension in which to expand, the universe is always moving towards growth and in this, so are we.

Are You Dealing With A Manipulator?

What is a Manipulator?

Pathologic manipulators are dysfunctional and/or mentally ill people who try to gain power and control by deceiving others. Of course we all don’t mind seeing things go our way, but someone who would be labeled as a manipulator displays the behaviors in most of their interactions.

How do manipulators get away with it so often?

They are skilled at concealing their aggressive intentions. Most likely they have been doing it since childhood and become very good at it as they’ve become adults. They are fairly good if not great at reading people. They both unconsciously and consciously look for the psychological vulnerabilities to decide what tactics would work best on any given individual. As they advance in age this process becomes second nature to them and so it likely is not on the forefront of their consciousness. Although, they always know to different degrees what they are doing. Manipulators have a level of ruthlessness and lack of conscience to have little issue about causing harm to others. They often tell themselves that if the other were in their position, they would do the same. They look at the world with their own perceptions. Many of these individuals are very insecure and fearful at their core but often tell themselves that they are smarter and better than others. This excuses their behavior in their own minds. Their motto is, if you can be manipulated, then you deserve it. .

They need to feel power, superiority and control in their position in society and in their relationships.

Techniques Manipulators Use.

  • Positive reinforcement: praise, approval, attention, superficial charm or sympathy, excessive apologizing, money, gifts, facial expressions such as a forced laugh or smile, and public recognition.
  • Negative reinforcement: intimidation, threats, nagging, yelling, the silent treatment, swearing, emotional blackmail, the guilt trap, sulking, crying, and playing the victim, gas lighting, physical harm.
  • Traumatic one-trial learning: Using explosive anger, verbal abuse or other intimidating behavior, to establish superiority and dominance.
    Intermittent or partial reinforcement (can be both positive and negative): Here the manipulator creates an atmosphere of fear and doubt. 
Punishment: Withdrawing love, support and attention.

 

Manipulative Behavior Checklist.
If you see someone exhibiting one of these behaviors quite often or exhibiting many of these behaviors, you are in the presence of a manipulator.

  • Lying: They lie to get what they want in any situation. They use words and don’t back them up with actions, or will lie when it doesn’t seem necessary to the target.
  • Lying by omission: Manipulation can also be delivered by leaving things unsaid.
    Denial: Manipulators deny they are being manipulative.
  • Rationalization: They try to give reasons that seem to make sense as to why they are behaving in such a way.
  • Minimization: This is a type of denial coupled with rationalization. The manipulator asserts that his or her behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else was suggesting – for example saying that a taunt or insult was only, “a joke”.
  • Selective inattention or selective attention: The manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract from his or her agenda, saying things like “I don’t want to hear it.”
  • Blaming: More than any other, this tactic is a powerful means of putting the target on the defensive while simultaneously masking the aggressive intents of the manipulator. The manipulator often finds scapegoats which are subtle and hard-to-detect.
  • Diversion: The manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and instead steers the conversation onto another topic.
  • Evasion: Similar to diversion but giving irrelevant, rambling, vague, and weak responses.
  • Covert intimidation: The manipulator throwing the target onto the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect, or implied) threats.
  • Playing the victim: The manipulator portrays themselves as a victim of circumstance or of someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion. Here the manipulator plays on the sympathy of a kinder soul, to get cooperation.
  • Playing the servant role: Masking a self-serving agenda as if it’s meant for a more noble cause. For example the manipulator says they are acting in a certain way for ‘obedience’ and ‘service’ to God or a similar authority figure.
  • Seduction: Using charm, praise, flattery or overtly supports others, in order to lower defenses in the other. Here the manipulator is attempting to gain trust and loyalty from the target.
  • Guilt tripping: Suggestion by the manipulator to the target, that he or she does not care enough, is too selfish or has it easy. This is meant to make the victim feel bad, and create self-doubt, anxiety and to take a submissive position.
  • Shaming: The manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or glance, unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, and subtle sarcasm. Manipulators goal here is to make the target feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is meant to give the target a sense of inadequacy.
  • Pretending innocence: The manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or that they didn’t do what they are accused of. The manipulator may put on a look of surprise or indignation to try and make the target question their own mind and judgement.
  • Pretending confusion: The manipulator acts confused by pretending they don’t know what the target is talking about if they bring up an important issue.
  • Feigning anger: The manipulator fakes anger or even rage to shock the target into submission.

 

Traits of individuals who are more at risk of being manipulated?


  • Empathetic people who do no expect someone to want to hurt them,
  • Those with low self esteem and a strong need for the approval, love and acceptance from others,
  • Those who fear negative emotion
,
  • People who have an inability to say “no”, or are lacking assertiveness
,
  • Individual who is uncertain of their own boundaries,
  • An individual who lacks self knowledge and a sense of their own personal power,
  • Those who have trouble discerning between necessary and unnecessary guilt or shame,
  • Inability to see negative behavior patterns or is in denial of them. This may be due to growing up with manipulators in the childhood home.

Love

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

— Kahlil Gibran

A poem about love by Kahlil Gibran who had a deep understanding of what love is and what it means for us.

29 Old Soul Traits

Old Soul traits

The term “Old Soul” at it’s core comes from a belief system that first, assumes we even have souls. Some believe certain individuals are just born this way and they really don’t think much about it past that. Others believe that this spiritual ethereal part of us is able to grow and progress into even further understanding though life lessons and introspection. And even if they take it this far, it still doesn’t necessarily mean reincarnation is evident to them. But reincarnation does make a heck of a lot more sense of it all. It gives a logical reason why some are born into an old soul perspective and others are not. It also gives a lot of other logical reasons why life and things are the way they are, but that’s for another post.

We have all seen that child who displays a more mature way of looking at the world than his or her peers. This child is also more responsible, gentle and empathic than other children. If we look at it from the angle that we all grow and develop as humans and possibly as souls, these children then grow up and progress even further in perspective as adults. They are often intelligent, but apart from that, they have a “quality” about them and in everything they do. Their essence is different. They are a perfect balance of sensitivity and strength. So, what are the traits that these people show that awards them this title “Old Soul”?

The traits of the Old Soul personality and behaviors as a whole describe the ideal emotional being. Each Old Soul naturally exhibits these traits as second nature and is always focused on modeling this behavior in every moment of their lives. If they happen to come into scenarios where they may need to pull from deeper parts of themselves, they will model this behavior as best they can in the moment. They stay conscious. If they slip up, they notice it. Often they notice it while it’s happening, and they make adjustments to correct it immediately. They do not want to cause themselves and others more pain and confusion in this life.

  1. Heartful – The old soul is predominately heartful. They do use rather strong logic along with their heart to navigate life, but when push comes to shove it’s always the heart that wins. Because we need all need our egos as a comparison to understand what is heartful, the old soul also has an ego. But the difference for the old soul is that their ego is under control. They use it as a way to continue to grow, develop and fine tune the subtleties of the heartful perspective. It’s used as an internal system of checks and balances.
  2. Wise – Old souls have a clarity of thought and action that may come across as simple and easy, but the longer you’re around these people the more you realize how pure and deep their thinking is. Great wisdom is not complicated nor is it delivered in language that is hard to understand. Their wisdom is also expressed in actions, not just in words.
  3. Extremely emotionally skilled – They have an emotional depth that is unparalleled. This deep emotion does not put upon others or seek attention. Because the old soul is skilled, they manage their emotions very well. The old soul is tapped more strongly into source and their own inner peace and so is not needy emotionally. They live to share emotion and have an intense interest in emotional connections with others, but they are very independent people. They wont look to you to fix their problems or ask you to listen to them complain about something for any length of time. They have all of the same feelings the rest of us do. They just don’t let their ego fears take over. Although, they will go to therapy if the teacher is in their range of understanding. Chatting about life and existence with kindred spirits is a great past time for the Old Soul. They are always trying to improve their already formidable emotional skills.
  4. They are humble – The Old Soul won’t brag about what they’ve done or who they might be. They will have many talents but others find out about them only by spending time with them. They will never be the person telling you that they are an Old Soul and they are at the end of their reincarnation cycle. Although, if spirituality comes up, they may tell close friends or family members they trust as a way to teach concepts. Old Souls are always willing to learn and know that they are privy to very little compared to what is still yet to be learned. They see most interactions as an opportunity to grow, learn, interact and to become better people as well as a chance to help others grow and attain their goals.
  5. They don’t repeat the same mistakes – The old soul is a very quick learner and has exceptional self knowledge. Because of this, they know why they behave the way they do in every situation. They do not repeat the same mistakes over and over again. They aren’t capable of it. They realize what causes negativity, drama and other problems in their own and other peoples lives. They see very clearly when they slip up, and they don’t do it again. They also learn from other peoples mistakes. Their egos are under control and so they are able to learn rather than go through life recklessly like a bull in a china shop or with blinders on.
  6. Emotionally healthy – These individuals don’t have mental breakdowns, anxiety attacks, neuroses, or personality disorders. They would never consider any of their life experiences to be baggage or want to do away with any experience they’ve ever had. They love life for what it is and what it has to offer, the easy and the difficult parts. Their minds are organized and clear and their emotions are stable. Life is a juicy adventure to the Old Soul.
  7. Empathy – They can literally feel your pain. They can feel your dog’s pain too.
  8. Resilient – They don’t wallow in self pity. If they do, they catch themselves doing it immediately. They recover and heal from hardship very quickly with no ego baggage to pull them back in. They are free from the stories that other people’s egos tell them about their own sad lives. They are the true free spirits. They may seem aloof or cold to some younger soul perspectives, but this isn’t what is going on inside of the old souls heart. They have a higher understanding of what should be given energy and what should not. They do not validate ego energy. They are masters in the area of emotional healing and growth.
  9. Honesty – They are more honest than may seem normal or socially appropriate in most cultures. Being fake or inauthentic with others isn’t in the Old Souls vocabulary. They are incapable of it. You always know where you stand with them. They are direct and won’t expect you to try to guess what they are saying or meaning (unless they are playing :). They express themselves clearly and openly. They don’t manipulate. They may come across as weird or as too much to younger souls. They do know this, and it doesn’t bother them.
  10. Tactful – You will know where you stand and they will speak their truth, but they would never say anything to intentionally anyone. If they come across as too direct, it is because they know you need to hear something said in such a way as to wake you up and help you in your growth. Your perception of their delivery will come from your own perspective in the world. If you are close to their older soul perspective, you will never be offended by an old soul. Their intentions are always pure. They are socially skilled and navigate the world of words well with others. They speak from the heart.
  11. They are socially nimble. The old soul isn’t the hermit spending life in the cave or a monastery. The old soul chooses to be among people. They know that relationships are where the soul growing action is. They want to help others and want to be in the thick of life. They are here to learn and to help others in their spiritual and emotional growth. They are good with people and can be very charming.
  12. The old soul is never offended. Even if attacked, they see through this show of ego energy. They understand that the other person is either in pain, being reactive and in both cases is letting their ego take over. Old souls know who they are and they know their great value as well as every other living beings value. They never walk around waiting to be offended. They try to understand rather than worry about an offense that has been done to them.
  13. Non reactive – They are so clear in their perceptions, that when others cause problems it doesn’t affect them internally. They see through it and understand that it has nothing to do with them, and so it’s impossible for them to get emotional. They see gas lighting, jealousy, narcissism, mental illness, projection and all of the strong ego behaviors for what they are. They don’t take it personally.
  14. They value every person as much they value themselves. The old soul does not see themselves as better or less than anyone. They know we are all connected and equal but we are also all unique individuals. They view the world as a place to grow and to help others grow, not as a place to be below or better than others. They have friends of all types and spend time with people for who they are, not what they do or what they have.
  15. Extremely high level of personal power/inner strength – They have steely back bones and not much ruffles their feathers. They know who they are and they truly love themselves. This love isn’t the type of love that drives them to take selfies or to make sure that their every creature comfort is taken care of. This is a deep inner self love that is not arrogant, insecure, needy or pushy.
  16. Introspective – They think a LOT but they also are able to be mentally calm when they choose to be. They have great control over their thoughts and know their own mind extremely well. They have a fantastic relationship with themselves.
  17. Extra sensory perception. – They are telepathic or psychic but unless they formally practice these things, they may not even mention it, and even then they may not. They are in touch with other dimensions of reality. It comes naturally to them. They make the best mediums and channels as they are able to read for Old Souls as well as the younger perspectives. This is because they have more clarity than other perspectives and are able to keep their egos out of the way. Although, they don’t always choose a career in these areas, they do use their skills in the lines of work that they choose and personal lives. Old souls are actually a very small percentage of formal readers and channels. If you come across a lot of mediums or channels that can’t read you, you just might be an old soul!
  18. Responsible – Old souls take 100 percent responsibility for their own lives. They don’t make choices that are unhealthy or unwise. They don’t blame others for their problems. They can be fun, free and even a bit wild, but they don’t purposely take action or use words that are ego driven or that may hurt others. They are highly conscientious in all areas of their lives and are very reliable.
  19. Highly capable – They have many talents and interests. In a way they are like vampires in that they have usually lived a long time on Earth. They’ve had many lives and have learned many things. The older soul has less amnesia than the younger perspectives do of their past lives. The skills they’ve gained over these lives, they use in their current lives to serve mankind and the other energy forms on the planet.
  20. Good sense of humor – They appreciate all forms of humor. They have a bubbly happy playful part of them that may even seem childlike or silly. They may even laugh at crude jokes if the intention of the joke isn’t to hurt anyone or does not come from ignorance. They are also very skilled at laughing at themselves and often do.
  21. Both light and deep – They laugh and play more than other people. But their play is often quite different from what most see as fun. They enjoy life and can come across as very light. The old soul isn’t a scary, intimidating, hard to get to know type of individual. They come across as light but also have depth and strength that many don’t even see at first.  The old soul is deep and thoughtful but they don’t need to show off about what they know. They just wish for people to grow, love and play.
  22. Live meaningful lives – They don’t spend much of their free time on things that have little depth. If their work isn’t in alignment with who they are or their value system, they will leave the job as soon as they can responsibly. You don’t see Old Souls staying in jobs or carriers for long that don’t suit them or cause harm to others or the planet.
  23. Are not petty – They don’t seek revenge, brag, show off or act out the numerous ego behaviors that we all think of as being small minded or narcissistic.
  24. Love all sentient beings – Old souls love everything. They probably won’t tell you this if you don’t ask. But the world is fascinating and lovely to them. They aren’t going around seeking attention by telling everyone how wonderful and beautiful life is. They’ve seen it all before. It’s a deep, expansive and rich love that they don’t expect others to understand and a love that words fail to capture.
  25. Are deeply connected to source – God is everywhere for them. Their spiritual life is always in their heart, on their minds and in all of their actions and non-action.
  26. They accept life as it is. – They accept life as it comes to them. They don’t fight the truth or try to hid from it. They are not complacent. They understand that the system is set up to give us challenge and rest. They don’t see the challenges as horrible nor do they see the rest periods as how life should always be. To the old soul the entirety of the experience is beautiful. The smallest moments are entertaining.
  27. They don’t need to be understood – Old Souls are confident in who they are. They rejoice when they meet someone who “gets” them, but they are happy even if they are not understood. They don’t base their own value on being validated by others. They understand that most people are not in their range of compatibility. They get that people can only understand things at their own spiritual and emotional level.  They’ve learned that being understood by others has nothing to do with inner peace and true self love. They also know that they can make a difference and help others even if they are not understood. They understand others and this is what is needed to help others in their own spiritual and emotional growth.
  28. They don’t believe in dogma. They are not focused on one religion or belief system but are mindful that all religions and ideologies may have heartful teachings within them. They are mentally expansive and creative. They use their logic and their hearts to find the truth in any teaching if there is truth to be had. They are not biased due to upbringing and societal or family pressures. They are truly free in spirit and in mind. For example an Old Soul perspective would not believe in the Law of Attraction the way it is rampantly taught by midrange spiritual teachers these days. They see the ego in the teachings and where the misunderstandings are. It’s easy for the Old Soul perspective to see when something doesn’t fit into the system or make heartful sense.
  29. Purpose – They know their “life’s purpose” and purposes. They may take some time to sift through their many talents and focus on a career, but at a deeper level, they know who they are and why they are here.

IF: A Poem by a Father Asking His Son to Model Old Soul Behavior

Old Soul Behavior Kipling Poem

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
R. Kipling